This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dick very happy bro
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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