it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
