So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
