Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
