there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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