just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
