Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
