Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
