since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
