Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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