people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
