Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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