My room smells like vodka and shame
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
