Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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