Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
