having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
