love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
