when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
