Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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