I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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