Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
