Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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