i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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