I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
