I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
