Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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