belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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