apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
