hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize