Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
