I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
