thus making me awesome and them whores
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
