Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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