i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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