i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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