That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Randomize
