shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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