get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
