matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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