I just made out with a guy for $7.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize