Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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