That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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