so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
