if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
