goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's always time for handjobs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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