I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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