They should really pass out barf bags in church
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
