So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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