On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
where are you?
Hypothermia
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
