honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
