I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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