speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize