If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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