I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
