After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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