I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
