The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize