he told me I talked like a deaf person
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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