I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
